The Taking it Personally POW – A Timely Reminder for 2014

Happy New Year!

I’m a fan of Marie TV, starring Marie Forleo. She is funny, a bit irreverent and has a great message. The other day, the subject of her email was “If people blow you off, here’s why…”. The episode was all about not taking things personally.

Marie reminded me of the writings of Don Miguel Ruiz.  One of the agreements in his book, The Four Agreements, is “Don’t take anything personally”.  This is great advice…yet so often it’s challenging – especially at work where difficult people and situations can crop up.

In Marie’s example, the idea of being “blown off” hit a little too close to home. There are definitely times when people don’t answer my emails or phone calls. These are sometimes people I know including past clients or folks I’ve met at meetings. When this happens it’s easy to go down the Pity Party path and take it personally creating a BIG POW! (As a reminder, a POW is something internal or external that feels like a heavy blow.)

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For you, the POW might be someone who is paying too much attention to you (think difficult customer or coworker). Either way, it’s easy to take the interaction (or lack thereof) personally. And, unfortunately, it’s pretty easy to turn the external POW into an internal POW (self doubt; unworthiness; frustration; fear…feel free to add your own negative emotion here).

To that I say Quit Taking Things Personally (QTIP) and SHIFT that POW to a WOW!

S	Stop and breathe.
H	Harness your harmful knee jerk reaction (which is to take “it” personally).
I	Identify and manage your negative emotions (see list above).
F	Find new options (read Don Miguel’s book, watch this Marie TV episode again, think about what someone objective would say).
T	Take one positive action (let it go, move on, be nice, contact someone else)

 

You can’t change the fact that the external POW occurred. You can most definitely keep the first POW from spiraling into a bigger, more powerful internal POW by not taking it personally.

Imagine how spectacular 2014 would be if you never took anything personally (good or bad things) at work. Imagine the lack of attachment to external events & comments and the draw to being satisfied, energized & productive all on your own…no matter what is happening around you.

You’ve got the Power!