Harness Those Harmful Knee-Jerk Reactions

Have you ever accidentally deleted something on your computer? Or moved an image that you had perfectly aligned? Of course! We all have. That’s when Command/Control+Z comes to the rescue.

This is the best combination of computer keys because it lets you go back in time to the correct version of your work. Oh, if we could only use this with the words we speak and actions we take at work.

I belong to the National Speakers Association and recently a big announcement was made at the annual convention. The name and branding are being changed. The association has been around since 1973 – not a lifetime, but a long time. Plus, these are speakers who are thought leaders and experts in their field. They like to be heard. As a result, there’s been much discussion in a private Facebook group, email listservs and blog posts.

Don’t worry, this post isn’t about name changes; it’s about reactions – harmful knee-jerk reactions.

The flurry of posts on Facebook started right away. The naysayers were posting about their dissatisfaction within moments of the announcement. One member said, “I quit” on Facebook. It hadn’t even been 24 hours. Did he really know what the implications of this decision would be? It sounded like a very emotional decision to me. It sounded like a knee-jerk reaction.

Please note that on a scale of urgent to steady – I’m to the left of urgent (urgent being on the left side of the scale). I love doing things fast…I always have.  I get the desire to jump in and comment. Unfortunately, I’ve learned over the years, this isn’t usually a good idea.

Because…the desire to jump-in isn’t always the best decision and there is no Command/Control+Z in real life!

Which brings me to the idea of harnessing your harmful knee-jerk reactions. A lot of times at work, decisions are made that you weren’t involved in or that you don’t agree with. It’s easy to forward that email or post something on social media disagreeing with the decision. Emotions are high and it feels good to be right (at least in your own opinion).

STOP! Next time, walk away. Take your fingers off the keyboard. Take a deep breath and harness that harmful knee-jerk reaction. You can’t take the words back, especially when they are in writing.There is no Control+Z to go back in time.

This is also true in face to face conversations. One woman in an audience said that when she starts to feel frustrated at work, she purposefully puts her tongue on the roof of her mouth. This makes it impossible for her to speak clearly and reminds her to harness these harmful knee-jerk reactions.

Don’t worry…if you still feel the same way after you’ve cooled off and it’s an intellectual response, not an emotional one, then by all means carefully craft your response and engage in a conversation. Then you’ll want to use Command/Control+C to copy it for future reference.

What are your experiences dealing with negative knee-jerk reactions? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Post your comments below.